WELCOME TO MY WORLD

So the Christmas and New Year festive season is over and so is 2009, its 2010, a whole new year, its Tuesday 5th January and I’ve been back to work 2 days now, the new year hasn’t bought any great surprises so far, it hasn’t really had much of a chance yet. But what about the old year, what happened during 2009 and what if anything did I learn, I’ve had a quick look back through my blog entries for the last year and picked out a few events from 2009.

Of course I didn’t have my present blog right at the start of the year but I can’t remember anything startling from early on, I know I was feeling a bit better than previous years but still having too many bad times, all in all though I was seeing some improvement, anyway on to the things I have a record of.

On the 1st March I started this very WordPress blog “Welcome to my World”, I imported a few bits from my previous Multiply blog, not a lot just a few bits I wanted to keep and share. This page on WordPress has proved to be by far my favourite blog, I have had a couple before it but I think I’ve found a nice balance here that I feel comfortable with and it looks like being a long term home for my blog.

As regular and especially older readers of mine will know I have had my problems in the past with depression and anxiety, I was also, having come through my worst times and beginning to see some balance, thinking about various things including my beliefs and were I stand on religion. It was partly due to this and partly due to the fact that I think it will help with some of the problems I still have that early in 2009 I began learning about Buddhist philosophy. I have since labelled myself a “relaxed Christian / agnostic / philosophical Buddhist”, I think this sums up my spirituality and philosophy well. Buddhism as a philosophy suits me pretty well and still manages to fit in with my other beliefs, I continue to read and learn about it, not with the intention of it becoming my religion, I see it more as purely a philosophy, for me anyway.

During April I had a tooth problem, I was in agony and had to make an emergency dentist appointment for some stopgap treatment to stop the pain, my final appointment was on May 28th and cost me a fair amount of cash, it prompted me to take greater care of my teeth and keep regular appointments. Also in April, swine flu arrived in the UK, I’m happy to say that so far my loved ones and I have been pretty much unaffected by it and with luck shall remain so.

At the start of May I joined the social networking site Facebook, I have tried a number of these type of sites in the past but never really found one that suited me, not that is until Facebook. I feel much more at home on Facebook and I think this is partly due to the fact that most of my contacts are people I know, family, friends and work colleagues, I have also found many of my old friends from other services on Facebook, it all just seems so much more personal and relevant to my real life than the others I tried did.

On May 16th I had my only night out of 2009, I don’t drink any more, I haven’t had a drink for about 4 years now in fact, so going out on the town doesn’t really hold much appeal for me. This though was because a good friend of mine, Dave “Becky” Beckman was leaving town to go and live with his girlfriend, I felt I should say goodbye to him as he is a good friend so just this once I went out. It was actually a pretty good night and once it all got a bit much for me I headed home having shown my face.

Around the end of June I entered myself for a fun run, it was the “St Mary’s Hospice 5k Fun Run”, it was going to be run on the 15th August so I decided I should start doing a bit of jogging in preparation for it. I can’t say that everything went altogether smoothly either on the fun run itself or even in my preparation for it but I managed to do it. By now I was enjoying my jogging and had decided to keep it going after the fun run, I did manage to keep it going for a while but due to a slight injury in September I stopped running, this was followed by a couple of illness’s and I simply got out of the habit and found it difficult to get started again. Its now around 4 months since I last had a run but I fully intend to get started again as soon as I can, the main problem with starting right now is the weather, freezing temperatures are making it very slippy under foot, I was actually thinking of getting started tonight but the pavements around here are like ice rinks so it really isn’t safe.

In July I discovered that my friend Dave (Becky, the lad who’s night out I went on) was diagnosed with a brain tumour, he had surgery to try and remove it but they were unable to get it all out. He has since started treatment with Radio Therapy and following that is due to undergo Chemo, I have to say that he is managing to cope with all of this far better than I ever could, he is quite an example and I think pretty damn brave in the face of extreme adversity.

Around August I got rid of the tortoise web site I used to have, it was called “The Tortoise Table”, I had by now copied a lot of the stuff I had on that site over to here, on this blog, and now I simply did away with the website and completely replaced it here on “Welcome to my World – The Tortoise Table”. I pointed the domain name I had used on the old site to this blog so that regular visitors to the website would be sent here instead.

The 25th September was my 53rd birthday, my birthdays are, partly by choice, quiet and uneventful affairs and there really isn’t much to tell

October was a big month for me and Gareth, my younger son, regarding rugby league, first off on the 10th October we went to the Grand Final played at Old Trafford in Manchester, Leeds Rhinos beat Saint Helens. Then on October 31st we were at the DW stadium in Wigan for the 4 Nations match between England and Australia, it was my first big proper international and although I would have loved an England win it just wasn’t to be, it was still great to be there though.

November saw major floods in Cumbria, many areas were hit badly, personally all I suffered was that I lost my internet for a short time, it was much worse for many others though in other parts of Cumbria, folk were forced out of their homes, business’s were ruined and a police constable lost his life when a bridge was washed away, it was for many a terrible time.

In early December I had a bit of a fish tank disaster, the tank that my eldest son, Jonathan, and I shared suddenly sprung a leak, I had to rescue our fish and house them in temporary accommodation, we have since bought a new tank and now have a better set up than before.

That brings us up to the very recent festive season, all in all I had a very nice, quiet and restful Christmas and New Year which is just how I prefer it, the two eves are not my favourite times though, Christmas Eve and New Years Eve were always quite special to me when I was happily married and with my family and nowadays they just serve to emphasise to me what I no longer have. So Christmas Eve found me not feeling very festive at all and even a little sad, but On Christmas day I was in a much better mood and spent the day at my mam’s house for a lovely family dinner. In between Christmas and new year I had a nice quite week during which I just relaxed.

New Years Eve is probably my least liked night of the year, its the night I feel most alone and sad, I tend to remember new years past in my old life, I miss being with my family and I miss Carole, I really do not enjoy new years eve generally and this one was no exception. Still on new years day it was all behind me, I spent the day with my mam and sister and her family and everything was much better.

During 2009 I had a couple of minor spells of illness, including the worst cold / flu that I remember for some time, at one point I thought I was gonna start oinking but it turned out not, it was just a really bad cold. I also suffered a couple of migraines during 2009, including a real bad one late in the year.

The Wigan Warriors, which is the rugby league team that Gareth and I support and are both season ticket holders of, had an up and down season, they started with the worst early season record in decades then improved beyond recognition, only to end the season having once more won no silver ware, still better luck this coming season with an all new management team in charge.

During 2009 I managed to get a bit of photography done but nowhere near as much as I would like, I intend to try and get a lot more in this year.

This past year at work hasn’t been too bad at all, there were times when I felt stressed, there were times when I really didn’t want to be there but it was, on the whole, the best year at work for a long time, I believe I was more productive and of more use to my department than the last few years when I have been suffering much more from my personal issues and I look forward to doing better still in this new year.

Personally this past year has been my best for a long, long time as well, yes of course I still have issues, I have times when I get depressed, times when I feel anxious or stressed but these times have been a lot less this past year and when things have got too much for me I have recovered much quicker than before. Things have improved visibly as the year has gone on, I felt much better and stronger at the end of the year than I did at the start.

Having seen improvement in both my working and personal life throughout the past year I start this new year, 2010, with every intention of going from strength to strength and carrying on improving. I’m feeling hopeful for this coming year, I know I’m improving, I’ve learnt how to cope with set backs much better and I have learned that I can be happy once more, who knows how well I might feel by this time next year when I look back again.

So that was the past year and my hopes for this new year, it just leaves me to say that I also hope all my friends and family and in fact everyone has a good year, bye for now folks, be well, be safe.